Deep Dark Thoughts: The Weight of Depression

Have you ever felt like there's a heavy weight on your shoulders that you can't shake off no matter how hard you try? For me, it was as if I was carrying the world on my back, and the pressure was suffocating. Despite putting on a brave face and going through the motions, deep down, I was hurting terribly.

It's like having a constant pit of sadness in your stomach that refuses to dissipate. You know what you need to do, but the energy to do it is just not there. This is how depression feels – a never-ending cycle of emotions that can be overwhelming and debilitating.

As someone who has struggled with mild depression and anxiety for most of my life, I thought I knew what to expect. But in the fall of 'year', my mental health took a drastic turn for the worse. The smallest things would set me off into fits of tears, and even the thought of going to work was suffocating.

I found myself crying in the bathroom at work, trying to compose myself before returning to my desk. Other times, I'd sneak away to cry in my car just to get some fresh air. It was as if I was living in a state of constant anxiety, and even simple tasks felt like insurmountable challenges.

The only thing that kept me going was the thought of walking my dog and going to work full-time. But even those tasks became daunting, and it would take me close to 30 minutes just to coax myself out of bed in the morning.

If you're struggling with depression or know someone who is, please know that help is available. Don't be afraid to reach out for support – whether it's a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional. Remember that you are not alone, and there is hope for recovery.

In fact, seeking professional help before my episode was what saved me from falling further into the depths of despair. It's hard to imagine having to find help when I could barely get out of bed in the morning. But with the right support and treatment, it's possible to overcome even the darkest of thoughts.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a trusted family member or friend, or try 911 or your local emergency number. You can also reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988.

Remember, depression may feel like an insurmountable mountain, but with the right support, you can climb back up and find your way again.

Deep dark thoughts